my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ladies don't puke and tell
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
