she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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