week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
