he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
