i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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