I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
