apparently the secret to your success is patron
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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