they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
