do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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