You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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