turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
