return my video game
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
