Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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