It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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