i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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