So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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