'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
