Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize