i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
