Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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