my vag is so smooth its legendary
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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