woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize