I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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