I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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