You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
