I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
