so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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