Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
