Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize