I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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