Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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