you traded sex for a burrito?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I had to cum in my sink.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize