i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
