grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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