So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
