how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
