Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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