I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
