Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
