You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
