I met the friendliest cop last night
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
