Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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