Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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(401): I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting http://tfl.nu/c988

Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (945)
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(303): View more from Colorado

okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.

(785): View more from Kansas

again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.

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(303): okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it. (785): again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now. http://tfl.nu/6i8m

Replies (36) Good night (1705) Bad night (7144)
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(530): View more from California

both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

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(530): both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed. http://tfl.nu/da2p

Replies (13) Good night (4990) Bad night (892)
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(907): View more from Alaska

It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common

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(907): It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common http://tfl.nu/qmer

Replies (47) Good night (1493) Bad night (4612)
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(914): View more from New York

We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.

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(914): We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night. http://tfl.nu/ey4f

Replies (6) Good night (2336) Bad night (1622)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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(989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3

Replies (5) Good night (2702) Bad night (998)
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(713): View more from Texas

I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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(713): I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/2wij

Replies (10) Good night (1621) Bad night (905)
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(813): View more from Florida

no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything

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(813): no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything http://tfl.nu/ryp8

Replies (12) Good night (1640) Bad night (814)
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(928): View more from Arizona

So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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(928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n

Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (554)
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(217): View more from Illinois

You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese

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(217): You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese http://tfl.nu/jq2v

Replies (11) Good night (884) Bad night (791)
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(585): View more from New York

we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT

(1-585): View more from New York

Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.

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(585): we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT (1-585): Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink. http://tfl.nu/wawv

Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (370)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that

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(508): No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that http://tfl.nu/lub4

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (574)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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(919): I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water. http://tfl.nu/3pkl

Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (445)
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(951): View more from California

Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."

(713): View more from Texas

Well thank god i want six autographed copies

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(951): Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles." (713): Well thank god i want six autographed copies http://tfl.nu/b8sw

Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (547)
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(813): View more from Florida

He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them

(386): View more from Florida

Tequila 1 marriage 0

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(813): He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them (386): Tequila 1 marriage 0 http://tfl.nu/qbt7

Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (763)

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