A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.