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i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am spending my child support on dildos
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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