ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He felt like a one man threesome
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
