I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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