I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize