So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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