tell your sister to shave her snatch
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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