I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
