And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
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I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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