All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
