on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
