Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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