Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
