Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
