party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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